The 11th Commandment

The 11th Commandment

There are the ten famous rules. But in those rules there is a tacit eleventh. A proto-rule as it were. That is of course to know and follow the commandments. It seems obvious but to me it’s an important one to understand. It’s the one that unifies pretty much every religion in existence. Most religions, cultures and practices form their legal foundation on the basis of rules justified by their respective theologies.

Another unifying factor is that every single religion has rules that don’t make immediate sense but that we are required to follow nonetheless. Even if you’re among those who consider politics a religion. Especially so in fact, or you not know the story of George Washington? It’s a cool story actually. I was told it in detail while on a Sea Cadet exchange with an American Sea Cadet camp, good times, not related to where I’m going with this 🙂

My point is it’s very important to have rules that everyone knows and follows in order to foster a strong community. It’s just as important to remember those rules exist for the sake of the community, not the other way around. Part of the problem is that each individual interprets these rules differntly. I came across a quote recently, that goes as follows. Oh yea trigger warning  btw :

“The truth is that God has created us male and female, and has made us with a soul and body that are inextricably linked to one another, their union forms a single nature. The body is not merely a shell encompassing my spirit […] The body is indeed, the physical manifestation of my personhood. It is truly me, along with my soul, and my identity as male or female is integral to who I am as a human person (Catechism of the Catholic Church 362-68, according to the person who wrote it to me)”

The irony is that I know exactly what this is attempting to communicate, this is coming from a position which implies transgenderism is wrong, by a person who is totally oblivious to the fact that the above quote in fact supports transition.

I do believe in a divine being. Let me state I am not here to proselytize, but rather clarify where I am coming from on this. I believe God is reality itself. Every spec of matter and energy and whatever else in all of creation, unified as a single entity, self aware and benevolent. There is no difference between soul and machine. The machine is the soul. Hmm even as I write that I recognize it sounds a bit out there, but I’m pretty sure it’s in line with biblical texts.

I have heard some purport the transgender community advocates an ‘anything goes’ attitude towards life and gender. I mean yes and no, this is more a semantical debate than anything. One can use the exact same set of words in the exact same order and still interpret it in different ways. To me an anything goes attitude means self regulating, but not interfering with others as long as there’s no harm being done. On the other hand I don’t literally believe ‘anything goes’ in all contexts. Going back to what I said about harm, some behaviors are problematic. Basically if something doesn’t cause problems, don’t worry about it. Actually stay calm in any case, worrying isn’t all that helpful.

And these days I have some fair experience with that. I’ve been going in for regular blood work these last two weeks. My potassium levels were high so I was told to google a list of foods to cut back on. The last I heard from my doctor my levels were good and I was ok to increase my dosage of spironolactone to 150 mg, then after two weeks of that I just yesterday went up to 6mg of estradiol. Emotions are good, though mood swings are increasing. The mood swings may be due to other factors, personal stuff.

As for physical changes my hair is growing nicely, it now sticks out visibly from my neck in the mirror, there is hair beneath my ears 😀 otherwise few visible changes, but my chest is recently achy and sensitive, which I understand is a positive sign.

On the social front I attended a Wednesday night session at my church on the book of psalms, which was open to anyone. It was quite nice. Everyone there is incredibly open and supportive, and I truly believe God has brought me to this place. It was clear the host had done their homework on appropriate verbiage. It’s rare and refreshing to have people not fumble over their words around me these days.

I was at a party recently, and the subject turned to orange is the new black. One person in the conversation found themselves unintentionally quoting Lorna Morello (Yael Stone) in trying to say that they liked Sophia Burset (Lavern Cox), without knowing the name, and could apparently only rember the phrase, “Lady man.” It was awkward, but oddly sweet.

The event a birthday party for two longtime friends of mine, one was a former room-mate. There was a BBQ at one of their houses, then the girls took a limo to the strip club, and yes I was invited 😀 Speaking of worry I was rife with it for the weeks leading up. Oh and let me back up a little more, prior to that BBQ was a work BBQ. In a park, on a very warm summer day, 35 C. Then out of absolute nowhere it starts to hail. Let me back up a little more, this was the first time many of my work acquaintances saw me in full makeup and a dress. So back to the hail, unpleasant.

Soaked and trembling from cold and stress, I arrive at a party populated by everyone from long time friends to total strangers. I brought some wine which I was later told was very nice, the clerk at the liquor store ID’d me, and was totally casual about it. When it came time to take the limo I was asked if I would be attending, and was genuinely giddy. The group of us got to the club and an attendant was there to greet the birthday girls. Once again the person IDing me was absolutely chill 🙂 The club istelf though was  like, all of the dysphoria triggers, every one of them. I stayed for all of about ten minutes.

Recently I went out for a Karaoke night with Matron, and once again had a blast. I mentioned in an earlier post that the first time I went they were renovating and practically empty, so the manager who showed us around. Well in early June I went to Vancouver to visit my cousin. One night we went out on the town and eventually came to a place called 1108 where they were hosting a drag show.

I was very not-sober at this point, and I saw this guy through the crowd who looked exactly like the manager at the bar in Calgary. As in I was almost certain it was the same guy. Almost, and I was more than a little drunk, also the lighting was terrible, also also I am very, very very very socially awkward at times. Though getting better.

Anyway I kept trying to glance at him, trying to decide if it was him or not, while also trying not to appear as if I was hitting on him. So now Karaoke adventure with Matron and sure enough there is the manager working the bar. I ask him “Hey, were you in Vancouver in early June?”

And he stops a moment, and says, no.. no wait yes, And that was you, at 1108! We were giving each other the weirdest glances all night.”

😀 … anyway.


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