So today was a fairly momentous day in a lot of respects. I saw my family doctor regarding my transition for the first time. I was quit impressed at how familiar they seemed with the whole process, apparently they have dealt with numerous transgender patients over the years. The initial visit was fairly short, they went over the basics, sent me for some blood work and scheduled a full physical. They said that I could probably start HRT in the next few weeks.
The blood work gave me an opportunity to work up my confidence a bit, I figured why not go full femme. The clinic is based out of a mall near my house so it meant I could get to some shopping while I was out. Ok who am I kidding, I was scared out of my mind the entire time and barely looked at the shops. I don’t pass, but that’s not really the point. The point is to live life on my own terms.
I walked through the mall without fanfare or incident, drawing a few stares but no comment. Once at the clinic I presented my paperwork, for the record I have not yet chosen a female name, and it suddenly occurred to me maybe this was not the most sensible time to be full femme. But heck with sensible, I’d do it again. I gave my name with my work in progress female voice and had a seat, doing my best not to make eye contact with anyone in the waiting room.
After an hour of waiting it occurred to me maybe I had missed something. I went up and asked if my name had been called, I gave my name and the receptionist asked where is he. So maybe I pass a little, who knows, anyway they sorted things out and a short time later i was all done. On the elevator down a lady complimented me on my purse, I complimented her hair, then I blushed and stared straight ahead. It would seem one thing that hasn’t changed through all of this is my awkwardness around women.
On my way back through the mall I heard a couple of guys behind me say “he she” a number of times while snickering to each other. I ignored it and continued straight ahead. It was almost a relief, in the sense that no one else cared. The vast majority of people where content to go about their day without giving me so much as a second thought. Being in such a public place I wasn’t all that concerned for my safety, though I did look behind me a number of times in the parking lot to be sure I wasn’t being followed. A lifetime in the closet has instilled a bit of paranoia.
After that things have been fairly routine. I relaxed for a bit and got to some cleaning. I had fencing class this evening, which Lady and I took up the fall, it’s good exercise and a lot of fun. Got groceries and now I have some writing to get done. Oh look, there’s over 500 words, sweet that means it is now lazy time 😀